Tonight, I sat in my living room full of people and I…enjoyed them.

I am blessed to be a part of a new church plant. Its my first time being the “pastor’s wife” rather than the youth minister’s wife. I was scared I’d hate the title and all the negative assumptions and stereotypes that come with it…but so far? We’re good.

I think that has a lot to do with being a plant. Something fresh. No {few} expectations of what I should or shouldn’t be doing. I think fighting against “the system” has a lot to do with the ease of transition. But mostly, I think my freedom in Christ, who He’s called me to be, and who He’s called me to love are the main reasons.

They are the reason I can breath. Keeping my eyes on Him. The freedom that comes knowing my standing before Him. That allows me to breath. To live. To enjoy.

I’m can be a tightly wound person. I fight insecurity, people-pleasing, and being the Pinterest princess.

I know, I know. We {as the “pastor’s wife”} are supposed to be able to arrive “at church” early, kids primped and proper, play the piano, rock babies in the nursery, teach the women’s bible study, serve meals to need families in the congregation, keep the home a haven and all while having the perfect hair due and modest yet stylish attire.

Struggling and being transparent about those struggles has helped free me from those chains. I’m helping no one by fronting perfection. Making sure to take the opportunity to announce failure works for me like the dorky kid announcing his pocket protector. Shouting my mistakes and short comings before Satan tries to blackmail me with it frees me.

We’re fought hard to live together in community with our church. The Church. No fronts about who we are. We are real.

Our families eat, sing, cry, eat, dance, party, learn, serve, party, live…and did I mention eat and party, TOGETHER?

My family doesn’t just attend every social gathering presented in our ironed best, shake hands, and leave before any of my littles melt down. We Do Life Together. We love on each other when its hard. Some nights, we let our kids melt down past bed time to get in a few more giggles over real life conversation. Some days we sweat and sink together. Some times we watch one another children to assist in sanity. Messy, stinky, grungy, exciting, celebratory LIFE with one another.

These aren’t things I’m doing for our church. Its what the church is doing together. My ministry family included. I’ve learned to give out of my abundance. I’ve learned even more how to receive out of my emptiness.

Showing my need for community is just as great as anyone else in this body of Christ: THAT has freed me and allowed me to sit in my living room full of people and enjoyed them! Being part of The Church instead of pretending to be in charge of the church allows me to be in The Church.

JOY!

The way God intended it. Be FREE and encouraged in your emptiness. Let His Church refresh you when needed. Be transparent. Vulnerable. Take time to Be IN The Church.